Sunday, January 27, 2019

Bullets for Healing?

I love firing guns. It's an amazing feeling – so sexy and powerful.
                                                          *Hayley Atwell (actress)


I surprise myself and opt for the private lesson at an indoor shooting range. I journey 40 miles outside of Asheville to Mountain Range.  S. is my teacher.  He is white haired with a Santa Claus beard, soft soothing voice and lovely smile.  He spends the first 15 minutes of my 30-minute lesson on gun safety before he guides me into the shooting range to begin the process of loading, aiming and firing at a target.

As S. prepares me for my first shot he instructs me to  “…breathe in, breathe out -- we need to get the Zen thing going.”  Of the 36 bullets I shoot, all but 7 hit the target area:  My target – the voices of self-criticism, self-loathing, anger, grief, depression that have flooded me since the car break-in and theft (see blog 1/26/19).  Each time I pull the trigger I internally shout: “Goodbye self-criticism, goodbye self-loathing, goodbye anger, goodbye grief, goodbye depression!!!

I leave Mountain Range Indoor Shooting Range with a sense of renewal.  First of all, I did something outside of my liberal-progressive mindset and comfort zone – I crossed a divide and thoroughly enjoyed all those I met on the other side – staff and customers.

As I drive back to Asheville, I experience freedom and empowerment from the heaviness that has been smothering me.  Ironically, I feel a return of inner peace.  I believe, that the physical sensations of shooting released built-up tension in my body and, more importantly, S.'s  kindness, patience and  message of  “we need to get the Zen thing going” all contributed to getting me back to center -- for now.

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 *https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/hayley_atwell_536396

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2 comments:

  1. Blair I will try once again to respond on your blog. Loved your choice but i would have chosen Qi Gong. So bold and bodacious and healing!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. George, thanks for your comment. I surprised myself with my choice....Blair

    ReplyDelete