During
dinner, Inner Seductress is nowhere in sight. Rather my Wild Feminist
emerges finding herself in the company of a White Patriarchal Male
whose main acquiescence to feminism turned out to be the Dutch treat.
The
last evening in Portland, I go out for dessert. As I pass the front
window of the restaurant, there sits Anthony with a young blond.
After an enlightening spiritual retreat my ego's belief system
re-emerges and shouts: “You are old and undesirable!” Even though there was no spark with Anthony, I am teary
and furious. Is this not an insane reaction – Yes! I go into the
restaurant's bar and order dessert.
While this was childish and reactive, it was fun and gave me pleasure...and it changed the end of the story. Now as I
reflect on the situation, it brings laughter rather than the tears
with which it began. It was ever so sweet to connect with Ron and
Beck. Plus, it brought to my awareness the possibility of fun our
ego's belief system offers us when we do not take it too seriously.
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