During dinner, Inner Seductress is nowhere in sight. Rather my Wild Feminist emerges finding herself in the company of a White Patriarchal Male whose main acquiescence to feminism turned out to be the Dutch treat.
The last evening in Portland, I go out for dessert. As I pass the front window of the restaurant, there sits Anthony with a young blond. After an enlightening spiritual retreat my ego's belief system re-emerges and shouts: “You are old and undesirable!” Even though there was no spark with Anthony, I am teary and furious. Is this not an insane reaction – Yes! I go into the restaurant's bar and order dessert.
While this was childish and reactive, it was fun and gave me pleasure...and it changed the end of the story. Now as I reflect on the situation, it brings laughter rather than the tears with which it began. It was ever so sweet to connect with Ron and Beck. Plus, it brought to my awareness the possibility of fun our ego's belief system offers us when we do not take it too seriously.