Aloneness

It has been 8 years since my partner died and one year since I ended a four-year affair.

This past holiday season Aloneness has been my companion. We each know we come into the world alone and exit it alone. This Aloneness falls within the realm of the existential and is the Aloneness we contemplate and from which we grow.

Then there is the Aloneness of not having a best friend/lover companion. This Aloneness accompanied me on a solo trip to New York City recently.  Aloneness and I enjoyed three evenings of grand theatre and great meals. As with any companion, it is important to strike up conversation. So over a fabulous dim sum dinner,  I asked: “Aloneness – what do you need from me?”

Aloneness responded: “Some social adventures with new people might be fun...”

We all know the way to create social adventures with new people these days is to go online. There are multiple reasons I have chosen not to do online dating. I can synthesize them all down to just one: It scares me. Not because of any physical threat of danger, but rather the idea of being rejected and/or rejecting others. Plus the idea of a date, let alone dating, is scary and something I've not done in 35-plus years.

So in my ongoing effort to break out of my comfort zones, I am making a blog commitment to engage in online dating. The first step will be to decide which online site. That will be the next blog....